The Wee Democracy

i emerge from my hiatus briefly, once again.

i went to pancho's tonight for dinner, and i must say, it rocks my skull. i had the chile rellenos, 6 of them to be precise, and some refried beans and taco meat. it's relatively sound for an atkins meal, though i suspect some flour in the relleno batter, but by and large i think it's eggs, so i'm more or less ok.

i was watching dr. phil today, as that's what i do nowadays, just watch tv, and read. it was about confidence and this hot chick got up there and was talking about how she had no confidence, and thought she was ugly and just a mess. i was like, bitch, please. you is fine!! you wanna see ugly and socially awkward? cast those blue peepers my way, i'll show you a thing or two about a thing or two.

and this other guy that couldn't sack up enough to ask girls out. i liked him, alright, though, and i felt his pain. he was tight, and he got two dates later in the show. it was tight.

i have the hobbit and the entire lord of the rings trilogy (the books, mind you) but the funny thing is -- not one of them is the same edition as the others. 'the hobbit' is from '92, 'the fellowship' from '01 as part of the movie tie-in - it has elijah wood on the front, 'the two towers' is, i think, from '76 and i bought it at half priced books for a dollar!! and 'the return of the king' is from the late '90s and is one of those bigger paged books and the numbered pages pick up from the end of the two towers and goes up to page, like, 1008. four books, four publishers, and four different publishing dates. it's kinda cool.
i'm a big loser.



feeling: less than confident
thinking of: banging miranda otto aka eowyn
song of the day: our love is gonna live forever - Spain

The hiatus is not over.

But i'm bored, so i figured i'd write a little bit here. when the hiatus is over, you'll know, because the first line will be 'the hiatus is over'. but it's not over. hence the absence of the previously mentioned line at the heading of this piece.

i have a wart. for quite some time, too. not a big nasty thing. in fact it's not big at all. it has a circumference of maybe an eighth of an inch, and it's on my left hand, middle finger. it's wee. it's just a pain in the ass. so i bought some compound W strips to put on it. you're supposed to leave it on for a period of 48 hours, then remove it, and reevaluate the situation. what it doesn't tell you on the box, is that if you get the medicated part of the strip on an unaffected part of your skin (and like i said, my wart was wee) it results in a rather unsightly chemical burn -- yes, like in Fight Club.

it's gross looking. seriously. my finger looks like freddy krueger now. and the wart, my god, the wart is HUGE now. like twice the size it was, and just vomitously gross looking. bleh!

kudos to gandolfini and falco and joey pants for their emmys. screw debra messing's skinny unfunny ass. sarah jessica all the way!!

i saw 'lost in translation' yesterday too. many kudos to sofia, and to bill murray, and to my love, scarlett.



feeling: still shitty
thinking of: banging scarlett johansson
song of the day: candleshop - billy harvey

I'm on hiatus for an undetermined amount of time.





feeling: like shit
thinking of: resuming old plans
song of the hiatus: harrisburg - josh ritter

the cowboys are up at halftime, as i type.

tessa revealed to me that josh ritter had released a new album. i had not visited his site (it is linked, by the way) in a while, and therefore was oblivious. shame on me!! i downloaded one of the new songs from his site -- "kathleen" it's called, and as i expected, it is brilliant. the album is called 'hello, starling' and i must encourage my fans to go buy it immediately, along with his debut effort 'golden age of radio'.

i had planned on driving with my mom to iowa tomorrow and the next day to pick out a place to live. but mommie dearest has become quite busy to the drive has been indefinitely postponed.

i saw 'once upon a time in mexico' on sunday and it was, too, as i expected. a fun, beautiful to watch film. i told riquito that i was under the impression that no latina could come close to salma hayek in overall sexiness. and i'm still right, but eva mendes comes soooo close. and johnny depp. well that man is just plain pretty.



feeling: kinda confused
thinking of: banging eva mendes
song of the day: kathleen - josh ritter

You know, for someone who went to UT, i think i hate longhorn football more than any other sport out there.

which is not to say that i hate football, or even the longhorns. but to love their team is to be in a sadomasochistic relationship. and you must understand that all criticisms i heap upon them (and believe me, they are a-plenty) are based on a bittersweet love for the team.

they are, as much as i love them, THE most consistently overrated team in the five years i've followed college football. which is not to say that i'm some kind of connoiseur, or even someone who's opinion is, what is known in some circles, as "well informed". it is merely the opinion of a young boy who believes that his team is good, but is perhaps the victim of misappropriated expectations. we are such a big football school we must force ourselves to believe that we are in the top tier of college football.

but, as i type, we are in the midst of being shown great football by an unranked arkansas team. i see our defense fucking up one-armed tackles, letting their running backs and quarterback escape with a little hug instead of a big hunk of black manflesh flying at them with the momentum of a drug addled locomotive.

we are currently ranked no. 6 (or somewhere thereabouts depending on which poll you read). last year i believe we were ranked somewhere in the top 5 at the preseason. and i must ask -- based on WHAT?? we haven't won a truly big game in over three years. we haven't beat OU since i was a freshman (the debacle and subsequent illness that marred the road trip in my sophomore year ruined any future desire to see the games live - and i must tell you, that i am apparently not missing much) so i want to know, is it merely potential and expectation that leads these ignorant-ass pollsters to give us such high rankings?

for if it is, then that is a detriment to the football team. we THINK we have the ability to justify those expectations, and we labor under the delusion that we do. however, i have only been witness to the numerous occasions when we have, to date, not.



feeling: disappointment, as only a parent can know about his failure of a child
thinking of: banging eliza dushku
song of the day: the seeker - the who

while riqui's and countless other's will make reference to the departure of johnny cash today, i shall focus on what i view to be a much more tragic loss.... that of jack tripper himself - the great john ritter.

many of you no doubt remember john from his days as the wacky male roommate of those three's company girls and the tenant of professor furley, played with ease and finesse by the incomparable don knotts. now i'm not sure if knotts himself is still with us, but i must say, it will be (or quite possibly was) a tragic day when he leaves our ranks.

i must say what a major part of my childhood three's company played. it was one of those shows i'm sure i didn't get half of the jokes due to my youth and status as an ingenue (and may not have laughed even if i did). nonetheless, it was always there for me, and likewise, so was jack tripper.

i'm sure that many of you might not remember that john's career saw a resurgence in the mid nineties with his turn as the 'not funny ha-ha, funny queer' friend of the mother and the son in billy bob thornton's american masterpiece, sling blade. ritter portrayed the gay vaughan cunningham with the gentle deftness of a master at work, and brought an extra sense of love and humanity to the bleak portrait of the american south.

motivated no doubt by a sense of uncertainty at his new shot at fortune, john saw fit to take a role as a bit of a hardass cop/father of the heroine in the fourth installment of the child's play series "bride of chucky". this was not john's first turn into the horror foray. in the early nineties, john portrayed the formerly chubby ben hanscomb in the TV film adaptation of Stephen King's IT, a film i hold primarily responsible for my fear of clowns. despite the lack of glory in these roles, john gave them his all, as i'm sure he gave to all his efforts in acting.

and how can we possibly forget that it was his new show (8 simple rules) that brought those fine-ass womens back to tv that are now his tele-orphaned daughters.

we shall miss you john. god bless.



feeling: sad
thinking of: coming and knocking on some random doors
song of the day: three's company theme song - Joe Raposo and Don Nicholl

It's raining today.

i read riqui's blog and he makes reference to days when its a bit overcast and it actually boosts his mood. i'm a bit the same way, and that's one of the things that i'm curious in an excited way about moving to iowa.

i'm really scared about moving, but at least i don't feel the same sense of unknowing as i did before. oh sure, i'm uncertain about my future in the midwest, but at least i have a skeletal plan right now. i also began looking into apartments, making phone calls and the like. one guy offered me a 700 sq. foot joint for a shade under 400 dollars. if you knew the shoebox i lived in in austin, you'd realize that this is unfuckingbelievable.

so, i'll have to go to cedar rapids for a few days again to pick out a place to live, then back to dallas, then back to austin to pick up various pieces of furniture, then back to cedar rapids....to live. and work. i haven't forgotten about that part.

i'm also thinking about how i want to decorate my little desk area, too. i figure i might put up a little cowboy jack antenna ball, to keep my dallas spirit going. i'm also, most definitely going to need to buy some sort of mavs merchandise to put on my desk, so i can shut all those iowa folks up when it comes to basketball. longhorns gear too. those foos don't know who they fuckin with...

i'm also very hungry and i can't help but feel that my mom is a bit on the ignorant side when it comes to my appetites. she suggests things like broccoli and spinach casserole. i wonder if i really sprung from her womb sometimes. we don't even like the same movies

i'm moving to iowa....weird.



feeling: calm and excited at the same time
thinking of: "once upon a time in mexico" -- it opens tomorrow
song of the day: fly - nick drake

THE SIMPSONS ARE GOING TO IOWA!!!

ok, they're not, but i am. this morning when my gut awoke, i decided that i'm going to take the job in iowa. lots to do...lots to do






feeling: full...i just ate
thinking of: why dana won't answer her phone
song of the day: work it - missy elliott

Well, i must admit a disappointment in my fan(s).

no one, save my normal friends has responded to my blog poll. which is to say, i've only a few people giving me input and advice on the move to iowa. granted, the few that i've got are a classy bunch, and there advice is without value. but still, all you bastards that are just mooching off my site for entertainment...keep on mooching, but humor me, too.

i'm, at this moment, about 87% sure that i'm going to take the job. the real road block in my way right now is my fear. i'm skurred of moving, of picking up and of finally being out on my own for once. it's a scary proposition, and i told riqui that the remainder that will push me either there or here is my faith in myself. can i actually do this? can i believe in myself enough to succeed? i think that is what keeps alot of us from doing things, is the inability to believe that we actually CAN do them.

now, on a much brighter note, i got to see 'american splendor' the other day, and i really liked it. i'll admit that i never read the comics of harvey pekar, but i have to imagine this film captured their essence pretty damn well. two thumbs up, america. fine holiday fun. also, i feel compelled to mention that the dvd set of 24's second season was released today, and if anyone cares to purchase it for me, feel free!




feeling: scared, but perhaps on the verge of exhiliration
thinking of: blind date uncensored
song of the day: naggin' - ying yang twins

YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!

that was riqui's response to yesterday's blog, which, i must say, was not only what i was expecting, but what i was hoping for. there is nothing quite like tormenting those you love with your bizarre tangents and exploitation of trusts.

however, he and his partner, walker, texas ranger, have been named hero and vice-hero respectively for the month of september. their noteworthy task, you ask? helping me to destroy those really fucking annoying windows messenger service popups. y'know, those ones that pop up in the middle of a masturbation session, when real player is full screen, and you've already got the lotion and kleenex all set up.

cindy called yesterday w/ some final numbers for my job offer at the RC, and they are tempting. i still have some heavy duty thinking to do, and i'll admit it, i've avoided heavy thinking thus far. not that i can avoid it much longer, as i figure i've got to give her an answer by next wednesday, and friday at the absolute latest.

there's alot to consider, and i'm wondering how much of it is really sinking into my head. pros and cons - we all have 'em. i'm looking for you to weigh in, america. what do you think? should i go? reasons for? reasons against? email me at mr_in_between@hotmail.com, with the subject line of 'blog poll' if you care to throw in your two cents.




feeling: content
thinking of: banging everything that moves on that show 'the OC'
song of the day: l'valse de amelie - yann tierson (amelie score)

a decision lays before me.

and my loyal readers and fan(s) probably know what that decision is, as its been a common thread among my posts these last few weeks. shall i, or shall i not, have my back professionally waxed?

first of all, it does cost money. am i really ready to plunk down my hard earned greenbacks for someone to apply hot wax to my bare back skin and rip the hair out by the roots? i mean, it's thick in parts - it'll hurt! bad!

secondly, i'm self conscious about it. someone will be looking not only at that veritable rain forest back there, but staring directly and intently at it, exclusively. it's gross. everyone knows that.

thirdly, how long will the effects of the waxing last? i mean, if i start sprouting fuzz after a month, i might as well save myself time and money and pain and just do a half assed job shaving it.

and finally, and certainly not the least of my reasons, if i lose my back hair, how will i proceed to produce those tried and true grimaces and gripes from the great riqui? i mean, making comments regarding my dermatological life is the bread and butter that causes that friction i find oh so amusing. what then, shall i do if i lose my butter? or more accurately, my back hair? choices, america, choices....



feeling: torn
thinking of: banging carmen electra
song of the day: my lover's prayer - otis redding

i'm reading 'the picture of dorian gray'

i also talked to cindy today to discuss salary. the offer is officially on the table, but i need to find out how much i'm going to make, how much i'm going to clear and factor all those things into my decision making process. it's a big decision, and one of the biggest ones i've ever made...quite possibly the biggest. it's daunting, for sure. thankfully, i have the support of my texas friends, and they are encouraging me via compliments.

so, back to dorian gray. hell, i've almost got a crush on this guy, fictional though he is. i was thinking, do i want to sell my soul for eternal youth? well, given that i'm not as beautiful as dorian, i think not. however, were i saidly gorgeous, i think i might. after all, i've seen the ravages of old age, and they are quite terrifying. and it leads me to wonder about lord henry's maxim, that beauty is a form of genius, and further still, a superior form.

it's like that episode of seinfeld, where jerry dates that freakishly beautiful woman and uses her to get out of traffic tickets and so forth. people immediately respect and envy the beautiful, much moreso than the intelligent. and believe me, i know. i'm intelligent, and no one envies me. then again, i'm belligerent and a drunk, so maybe that's why.

any advice on the job front should be addressed to me in a prompt manner.



feeling: a twinge of nervousness and excitement
thinking of: banging chicks in northern michigan, or banging fran drescher
song of the day: under pressure - david bowie and queen (despite rick's homophobia)

i am a man. the man, to put it more accurately.

and if i were a candidate in a taco bell election, i think i'd pick the choco taco - because people don't think about it right away. but it's fan base is loyal, and we have a powerful lobby.

so, yes, as stated before i am the man that has been offered a job at the RC. it's a tad unofficial, and i say that only to make sure you know. i'm not worried. cindy (the hiring lady) loves me and even the CEO gave his thumbs up seal of approval, so that's that. only thing to decide now is what i need to make and if i'm sure i want to move.

riqui v is perhaps the greatest man to ever walk the planet.



feeling: relieved
thinking off: nina from '24'
song of the day: not dark yet - bob dylan (yes, i know it was my sotd the other day, but i listened to it all on the plane and it is a great song, as dylan is a great man)

it rains this morning.

it's been hotter than hell here lately, and that's getting pretty tiresome, so a little water seems like the answer, right? hell no. all it means is that the temperature drops maybe ten degrees, and everything gets wet and nasty and tomorrow, when the temperature rises back to its normal dantesque heights, it makes everything nice and fucking humid. goddamn texas.

see? this is why iowa is appealing to me. i don't think they have the same type of emotionally devastating climate there. y'know?

i feel bad for riqui. he's been such a good friend to me as long as i've known him, but i feel as though i cannot repay him, at least not in the immediate way by going to california to visit him. not for lack of wanting, mind you. i'd love to visit him. i just can't afford to spend the money right now, especially with a potential move in the coming weeks. so maybe sometime, after i get settled in iowa, if i move, i can visit him. it'd be great.

today is, of course, my last day to prepare both mentally and physically for my trip tomorrow, and the interview with the kind folks at the RC. i am ready.



feeling: an ever increasing semblance of confidence
thinking of: riquito, there in cali
song of the day: i am waiting - the rolling stones