The Wee Democracy

i can fake it if i need to

it came up a while back. i sorta got into it with a friend when she told me her folks were getting divorced, and i didn't appear all that concerned. nothing ever came of it, the apparent split, and we're still friends and all. but she got mad that my response was merely an "oh....that sucks".

now, i don't mean to be callous about certain things. i've heard friends tell me they've broken up with so-and-so, or that so-and-so and so-and-so broke up, and i've done what i can to be supportive of who ever's side i've taken...and i take sides...but my reactions generally consist of "oh.". there was once where i thrust a fist into the air and yelled out "thank the fuck christ", but that was only once.

i hate doing it, but i'm gonna quote the matrix here, when morpheus first meets neo, and tells him "you have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up" no, i don't think i'm living in some fucked up alternareality. you can just see certain things coming. and generally, the more you accept the fucked-upness, the easier it gets to accept the really fucked up.

case in point. a couple of years ago, i was on a campus shuttle bus that hit a girl. now, at first i was very shocked, and sorta discombobulated. after a while, i just thought to myself "well, she looks ok...i better catch the next bus. then, earlier this year, i was on a street in nyc, and i saw a woman get hit by a taxi, or rather her lying in the street, having already been hit. i looked for a minute, and then turned away. she was probably ok, and even if she wasn't, my shock isn't going to make a difference in her potential recovery.

man, having read that makes me seem like a dick. i should probably delete it. nah. it's an extreme example. i mean, 9/11 shook me up pretty badly, and i've seen new york obliterated in films at least half a dozen times.

so, bad example. um, when my friend nicole told me she was getting married, i was like "oh. cool." i mean, what am i supposed to do? scream and jump up and down? i knew they were gonna get married eventually. everyone did. but because they make it official, i have to show excitement?

now, if someone came up to me and said "josh, i'm pregnant," THEN i might show a little emotion.

but breakups, people (especially guys) revealing either unrequited love or that they are complete and total assholes...that stuff doesn't shock me anymore. i've seen it. usually, i can spot it a mile away. so girls, my point is, i have a tendency not to get too excited about certain revelations. and while that may sound like a bad thing, it is coupled with a pretty accurate bastard detector. so, bring your dudes to me, and i'll tell you whether or not to ditch 'em.

that was totally not the point i set out to make.


duran duran - girls on film