The Wee Democracy

a story

when i was, i think, a freshman in high school, i was walking back from a bookstore that was like, a block from campus. there was an alley that led from the back of the store to a street that intersected the back driveway of the parking lot. after school it was cool to go to that book store and hang out for a bit, and the bad kids used to smoke on the patio that was adjacent to the little cafe that was there in the store.

so, like i said, i was walking. and i'm getting to the end of the alley, and about to turn on the street when i spot these three girls, about my age, sitting and giggling and acting all girly. so i come up on them, and one goes "hey, do you go to ________?"

and i say, "yeah...where do you go?"

"white" she says. then, about three or so seconds later she continues.

but in those three seconds my mind starts just going. i mean, fast fast fast, i have all these thoughts, because this is my nature, to fantasize with the speed of light. how am i gonna get to her house if she lives all the way in frickin' plano. this girl i like goes to white. my girlfriend goes to white. wow. i can't wait to say that. man, i feel good. so this is what self esteem feels like? wow.

"do you know that guy that just walked by?" she asks, pointing down the way to a kid in my class. i'll admit, he was a good looking kid.

"um, yeah."

"can you tell him i think he's cute"

"yeah, ok."

man, imagination, when it goes out of control like that, when you can't rein it in, or just indulge it too much, fuckin burns you.



feeling: so bored that staring at the wall is a valid option
thinking of: vicodin - my back hurts
song of the day: our love is gonna live forever - spain
and tomorrow, i'm gonna love you just like i do today