The Wee Democracy

what if someone calls us a pair of pathetic peripatetics?

is it me, or did may just get here way too fucking fast? there was a point toward the end of my freshman year, and i believe it was at the beginning of may, that i was walking to subway to get a sandwich. i remember the sunset, the warm feeling on my face, noticing how brisk my pace was walking from jester to dobie, remembering how it seemed like a long walk the first couple of times i did it. i was sad then, thinking about the friends i was gonna have to do without for a whole summer, lamenting the fact that almost none of us were going to be living in the same place anymore and that bond was going to be broken. but, i reasoned, in a very uncharacteristically optimistic tone, i've still got three years of college to go! three years! i've got plenty of time, man.

in 15 days i will officially have been out of school for one year, drifting aimlessly almost just as long. you see, this idea shakes me to the core. where did those three years go? they seemed to take so long as they were happening, but good lord. i remember so much of what happened five years ago like it was last night.

rolling my heavy ass trunk down the hall to my questionably smelling room. dusting things. taking a shower. watching tv with the door open, trying to make friends, creating a new josh that was cool and outgoing -- ok, that didn't last. being vastly impressed by the water pressure in the dorm shower.

i remember clearly the excitement coursing through my body when i was putting together my dorm room, just as i'd imagined it, in one of the few instances where reality came close to matching fantasy. of course, my fantasies often including midgets, candy, ladies of the night, and a mattress without a huge fuckin' crater in the middle that sucked all life into its void never to be seen again!! damn you mattress.

i remember going to a late night showing of trainspotting with some of my new friends in that first week at the dorm. i remember going to a looooooooooong dry-ass sunday morning service at a baptist church to get on the good side of a girl. i remember how awesome it was to have the room to myself for that first week, before my roommate showed up.

it was all so full of promise. how was it five years ago?



feeling: nostalgic, clearly
thinking of: smoking
song of the day: tuesday's gone - lynyrd skynyrd
train roll on many miles from my home. see i'm...riding my blues away