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like an angry old man, shaking a fist at the sky...

Monday, May 31, 2004

the onion

i've been reading the onion since 'our dumb century' came out a few years ago. anyways, in lieu of any real thought provoking ideas today, i'm just gonna toss out a dozen or so headlines that made me laugh lately...

COP KILLS OWN PARTNER, VOWS TO TRACK SELF DOWN

ZOMBIE CORPSE OF SCATMAN CROTHERS SPEAKS OUT AGAINST TELEMARKETING SCAMS

NEVADA TO PHASE OUT LAWS ALTOGETHER

SPAGHETTI-O'S DISCONTINUED AS FRANCO-AMERICAN RELATIONS BREAK DOWN

83-YEAR-OLD SNEAKS INTO 65-TO-80 SINGLES DANCE

LAST BEER IN SIX PACK DRUNK WITH PLASTIC RINGS STILL ATTACHED

DRUGS NOW LEGAL IF USER IS EMPLOYED

GLIMPSE OF GENE SHALIT ON TV REMINDS WOMAN IT'S TIME FOR BIKINI WAX

MCDONALD'S DROPS 'HAMMURDERER' CHARACTER FROM ADVERTISING

FATHER BITTER THAT SON HAS EVERYTHING HE NEVER HAD

8-MONTH-OLD SICK OF STARING AT POOH'S SMUG FACE ALL DAY

EXILED AMERICAN KING TRIUMPHANTLY RETURNS TO
WASHINGTON


SMITHSONIAN INSTITUTION POLITELY DECLINES SOFA FROM 'CHARLES IN CHARGE'

and finally...

BUSH SEEKS U.N. SUPPORT FOR 'U.S. DOES WHATEVER IT WANTS' PLAN



feeling: giggly
thinking of: sleepy
song of the day: no song today
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