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like an angry old man, shaking a fist at the sky...
Monday, May 31, 2004
the onion
i've been reading the onion since 'our dumb century' came out a few years ago. anyways, in lieu of any real thought provoking ideas today, i'm just gonna toss out a dozen or so headlines that made me laugh lately...
COP KILLS OWN PARTNER, VOWS TO TRACK SELF DOWN
ZOMBIE CORPSE OF SCATMAN CROTHERS SPEAKS OUT AGAINST TELEMARKETING SCAMS
NEVADA TO PHASE OUT LAWS ALTOGETHER
SPAGHETTI-O'S DISCONTINUED AS FRANCO-AMERICAN RELATIONS BREAK DOWN
83-YEAR-OLD SNEAKS INTO 65-TO-80 SINGLES DANCE
LAST BEER IN SIX PACK DRUNK WITH PLASTIC RINGS STILL ATTACHED
DRUGS NOW LEGAL IF USER IS EMPLOYED
GLIMPSE OF GENE SHALIT ON TV REMINDS WOMAN IT'S TIME FOR BIKINI WAX
MCDONALD'S DROPS 'HAMMURDERER' CHARACTER FROM ADVERTISING
FATHER BITTER THAT SON HAS EVERYTHING HE NEVER HAD
8-MONTH-OLD SICK OF STARING AT POOH'S SMUG FACE ALL DAY
EXILED AMERICAN KING TRIUMPHANTLY RETURNS TO
WASHINGTON
SMITHSONIAN INSTITUTION POLITELY DECLINES SOFA FROM 'CHARLES IN CHARGE'
and finally...
BUSH SEEKS U.N. SUPPORT FOR 'U.S. DOES WHATEVER IT WANTS' PLAN
feeling: giggly
thinking of: sleepy
song of the day: no song today
i've been reading the onion since 'our dumb century' came out a few years ago. anyways, in lieu of any real thought provoking ideas today, i'm just gonna toss out a dozen or so headlines that made me laugh lately...
COP KILLS OWN PARTNER, VOWS TO TRACK SELF DOWN
ZOMBIE CORPSE OF SCATMAN CROTHERS SPEAKS OUT AGAINST TELEMARKETING SCAMS
NEVADA TO PHASE OUT LAWS ALTOGETHER
SPAGHETTI-O'S DISCONTINUED AS FRANCO-AMERICAN RELATIONS BREAK DOWN
83-YEAR-OLD SNEAKS INTO 65-TO-80 SINGLES DANCE
LAST BEER IN SIX PACK DRUNK WITH PLASTIC RINGS STILL ATTACHED
DRUGS NOW LEGAL IF USER IS EMPLOYED
GLIMPSE OF GENE SHALIT ON TV REMINDS WOMAN IT'S TIME FOR BIKINI WAX
MCDONALD'S DROPS 'HAMMURDERER' CHARACTER FROM ADVERTISING
FATHER BITTER THAT SON HAS EVERYTHING HE NEVER HAD
8-MONTH-OLD SICK OF STARING AT POOH'S SMUG FACE ALL DAY
EXILED AMERICAN KING TRIUMPHANTLY RETURNS TO
WASHINGTON
SMITHSONIAN INSTITUTION POLITELY DECLINES SOFA FROM 'CHARLES IN CHARGE'
and finally...
BUSH SEEKS U.N. SUPPORT FOR 'U.S. DOES WHATEVER IT WANTS' PLAN
feeling: giggly
thinking of: sleepy
song of the day: no song today
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