The Wee Democracy

fun with idiots

when i was a sophomore in college, i used to work in the dorm cafeteria. now, there were few times when i had to put certain rat bastards in their place. mainly with little tortures just to embarass them in front of their pals and other people. you see, i worked in the dessert line, and when people are getting dessert it's a quick thing, and lines don't tend to build up that quickly.

we served pushups. so when it was slow, i used to fill up the hollow plastic handles with ice, so that with time it would melt in the hand of the deserving student, and drip down the wrist! guerilla tactics!! i would give mushy ice cream sandwiches to those folks who offered me sass mouth or some smarmy comment.

it wasn't too bad when i was allowed to bring my cd player up there. i'd make these mix tapes that would last about 90 minutes. so you go through the tape twice, and boom bang, your shift is done! and they were good mixes too. people would comment, oh, i love that song! the old lady that served ice cream with me and i would dance some times, cause i'd throw in some motown for old times' sake. then this old wet blanket of a supervisor told me that radios were illegal, and that i needed to put mine away.

"what if people want to listen to the music?" i asked. he suggested that they could fill out comment cards. so i, man of the people that i am, went and swiped a stack of comment cards and put a couple of pens on the glass case. "fill one out!" i called to the people. for about an hour, until the wet blanket came back and told me to knock it off. in retrospect, i'm lucky i didn't get fired.

i'm also lucky i didn't get fired for the crowning grace of my guerilla war against the rude. this guy came up once and wanted ice cream. "cup or cone" i asked. "i don't care what you put it in." "well can you pick one?" "no," he said and laughed. so i got a big scoop of ice cream, i mean huge, put it in my hand and handed it to him. he stormed off, muttering "smart ass" to the laughter of the line behind him. it was aweome....awesome.

i've got a stalker. it so rocks.



feeling: pretty good
thinking of: the beach
song of the day: pictures of you - the cure
I've been looking so long at these pictures of you that I almost believe that they're real