The Wee Democracy

national insecurity

contrary to my title, this isn't an entry about politics, or the current state of disrepair the nation is in. i'm not going to turn my little space into a pulpit from which i shout ill-informed rants and such about serious things. only about non serious things, like dating shows, myself, or which goes better with cheerios - bananas or ranch style beans. i've had both, and it IS a toss up.

it's more about the block i've felt the last few days. i mean, it's partially due to being busy again at work, and not having as much time to listen to the ramblings of the Brain Lobbyists, who typically waste the council's time, wringing their hands with misplaced guilt, far-fetched hypotheticals and halfbaked plots of romantic involvement with various bus station girls. you know the kind - your eyes meet hers as you are the only two people at the transfer center who clearly have no criminal record and/or drug problem.

partially its due to the influence of burian. as i said before, there are those moments when i'm reading some book or short story, and i think, "jesus, this is the kind of stuff that makes me want to write." it's usually followed by an attempt to assimilate some of those traits into my own style and frustration and self abuse when said attempts fail miserably, as attempts are wont to do.

and i blame my addition of the counter at the bottom of the page. i'm suddenly acutely aware that people are reading my site. and not just my friends - these are folks i've never even met before in my life, and that i, barring some kind of fantabulous miracle of homerical proportions, never will meet. suddenly i've got an audience, and then i'm like, uh, ok, i've got to entertain them. really, it makes me recall those moments when i was in 7th grade and i wanted to seem cool to the 8th graders, because they seemed so much older and wiser. this was before i realized that even the wisest 8th grader needs an friendly face-punching every now and again, to keep him in line and all.

so here i am, trying to think of funny things to comment on or to say so's i don't let you folks down, and i can't. this wee democracy is in danger of crumbling! the warring lobbies of my partially deranged psyche are in an uproar! what do you do when you're used to talking to yourself or a select few and you realize that other folks listen to your babbling!

you start talking about your exploits on the dallas mass transit system, that's what!!




feeling: sweet, glorious apathy!
thinking of: expanding my 15 minute breaks at work to 30 minutes
song of the day - i'm a thug - jesus christ
i don't know what this world's gonna bring. but i know one thing, that this is the life for me, baby, cuz i'm a thug