The Wee Democracy

some quotes of pure genius, in no particular order:

apu: is it me, or do all of your plans involve a horrible web of lies?
homer: it's you


marge: kids can be so cruel.
bart: we can? thanks mom!
lisa (in distance): owwww...


moe: they used to call me kid gorgeous. then it was kid presentable. then kid gruesome. and finally, kid moe.


superintendent chalmers: i'd had it with this school, skinner! low test scores! class after class of ugly, ugly children!


homer: oh fat tony. you mean the mob only did me a favor to get something in return? tsk tsk tsk. i'll say good day, sir.
fat tony: ok.


homer: i'll never drink another beer again.
beer vendor: beer here!
homer: i'll take ten.


Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?
Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.
Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.


Mr. Burns: That's preposterous, everyone knows our mutants have flippers -- oops, I've said too much. Smithers, get the amnesia ray.
Smithers: You mean the revolver, sir?


Chief Wiggum: All right, where's Sideshow Bob and that guy who uh, eats people and takes their faces?
Prisoner: I'm right here, Cheif.
Chief Wiggum: OK, then. Where's Sideshow Bob?
Prisoner: Eh, he ran off.
Chief Wiggum: Oh, great. Well, if anyone asks, I uh, beat him to death.


Homer: Wait a minute... there's something bothering me about this place. I know. This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit. Enjoy your death trap ladies.


Kent Brockman: All this drinking, violence, destruction of property... are these the things that we think of when we think of the Irish?


Chief Wiggum: That's some good work, Lou. You'll make sergeant for this.
Lou: I already am sergeant, Chief.
Chief Wiggum: This looks to me like the work of crazy old Sideshow Bob.
Lou: Actually, Chief, Cecil made a full confession.
Chief Wiggum: Quiet, Lou, or i'll bust you down to sergeant so fast it'll make your head spin!



feeling: giddy
thinking of: why i hate utah.
song of the day: kid A - radiohead
no discernible lyrics, bucko